Thank YOU, Jillian Michaels!

(Thanks to my dear friend, Missy, for reminding me to blog about this!)

Last week, as I was up feeding Will at 3 a.m., I was watching the news and catching up on the most recent celeb gossip. I heard a teaser that went something like "Jillian Michaels offends moms...hear what she said after the break!"

When the commercial break was over, the offending quote was revealed. As she was being interviewed for Women's Health magazine (which, in the interest of full disclosure..and as a proud big sister, my sister is featured in this month in the "You Lose, You Win" article), Jillian Michaels was asked if she would ever consider having biologial children. She responded with : "I can't handle doing that to my body."

My thoughts, and emotions, instantly raced. At first, I was angered and offended. Jillian's implying that having babies ruins bodies made me want to boycott her shows and products. I thought that moms who worked hard for their babies, and post-baby bodies, should unite in order to prove to her that her comment made her, in fact, a BIG loser. Ha...that'll show her.

Then, after about a minute, I started to feel bad for Jillian Michaels.

I would be lying if I said that Jillian Michaels wasn't one of my inspirations for becoming a fitness instructor. She's fun to watch as she whips people into shape on The Biggest Loser through her somehow finding a balance between a drill sargeant and a counselor. I know that she's worked her way to health through finding fitness, and I appreciate her doing that. Jillian also has a physique to work toward. If she could do it, then so can I. Perhaps that's why she's as popular as she is- she's relatable.

But, in rationalizing her comment, one has to remember that her body IS her livelihood- figuratively, literally, AND financially. If she started to gain weight, etc., then she will have many people to answer to. If I gain 5 pounds, I have myself to answer to. If she gains 5 lbs., her career is threatened. Not fun.

One thing that I have, and Jillian Michaels never will, is a body that has carried, grown, delivered and cared for three children. The more I thought about it, Jillian will never know what it's like to discover that she's pregnant. She will (most likely) never feel the thrill of the first flutter kick in her belly, nor will she be able to guess what body part swooshes across her midsection as she relaxes on the couch with her husband. Jillian won't know what it's really like to go into labor and then deliver a miracle, nor will she look into the eyes of a life created out of love and feel the love for her new child that is all-consuming.

In other words, having children didn't ruin my body- it MADE my body. It made me who I am today.

I often refer to my stretch marks as tiny badges of courage. My wider hips help to keep me looking womanly. My body continues to nourish my newborn, and it helps to set an example for my little girls as they see me working out at Stroller Strides or running with all three of them strapped into the jogger stroller. Yes, I may have some extra fat that I want to get rid of. But, mark my words, I am WAY more proud of my body now than I ever was when I didn't have to work for it as a teenager or in my early-20's. It now has a power that it didn't utilize before...it makes LITTLE PEOPLE!

I am NOT knocking Jillian's decision to want to adopt someday. I think that's great. One day, I hope that she will be able to know what it's like to raise a child, as there are plenty of babies and children out there who deserve to be loved. In all honestly and likelihood, she will be able to both care for the child herself, and she will have enough people working for and with her in order to somehow balance her professional and personal life.

And maybe it's good that she doesn't try to bear her own child; after all, if she's that concerned about her body, she may resent the baby for changing her physique. Who would want to start off life like that?!

Anyways, thank YOU, Jillian, for helping to remind me about how proud I am of my body. Thank you for inspiring me to become a fitness instructor for moms who want to get in shape post-baby (myself included!). Thank you for driving me to push both my Stroller Strides moms and myself just a little further every time we work out because now I want to prove that you CAN get your body back after bearing children. In one comment, you helped to both feel the frustration of stereotypes (having a baby ruins you), and the joy of knowing how to overcome them.

One, two, three...

One, two, three.
One, two, three.

I used to glide across the dance floor chanting these numbers through my head.

One, two, three...

They used to signify corresponding fluid body movements, seamless...yet tying into the theme of musicality. Simple. Beautiful. There is a clear method behind the little steps.

One, two, three....

Now it's what's consantly going through my head as I walk through Target as I keep constant track of my children.

"Gracie! Please don't pull those Princess hairties off of the shelf! Stay by the cart!"
"Sissy! Please turn around! Put your booty down!"
Will just, well, sleeps. He occasionally wakes up, only to have his little eyes dart around in the unfamiliarity of where he is at the moment, only to settle back on me and then slowly drift off again.

One, two, three....

I wonder sometimes how life has gone from what seemed to be a smooth waltz to a sometimes spaztic "Ellen" from Seinfeld dance. There are days when the family are able to move through with synchronicity; and there are days when it takes every morsel of energy Brent and I have to get through the end of our day. Most days have moments where I question the motions of parenthood, suddenly realizing my ackwardness, only to correct my form in order to keep from falling down.

I just hope that, to Brent and my kids, they understand that you only learn to dance through learning how to master the little steps along the way.

One, two, three...

As we headed out of Target today, I looked under Will's infant carrier, only to realize that the brake fluid I had wanted to get for our minivan had gotten stuck, and I had not paid for it. I picked it up, and showed it to Grace.

"Mommy, what's that?"
"It's brake fluid, honey. Mommy didn't see it, and we forgot to pay for it."
"Oh, okay, well, let's go pay for it, Mommy."

I smile, proud that Gracie IS learning the steps to becoming a responsible little person. Clearly, Brent and I have taught her something right!

We head back to the cash register, Dani climbing, Will sleeping, and Grace grabbing things along the way...

One, two, three...

Week 3

Okay, here are my measurements for week 3:
Weight: 154
B: 37 (almost pre-pregnancy!)
W: 31
H: 39

Slow and steady, steady and slow....that's how women who lose weight while breastfeeding go! ;)

Confessions from a mom of three

Dialogue from a phone conversation I had today at about 3 p.m.:

Friend: "I want to do something today, (my son) does, too; but (my daughter) is not into it."
Me: "No worries. Grace is still up, Dani is still sleeping, and Will is good...we can do something another day, too."
Friend: "Yeah, maybe..."(I look over at Will, who is in his bounce chair on the floor)
"WHOOPS! Will is puking. Gotta go!"

Such is life.

You know, I remember how, after another good friend of mine had her third, I wondered why she suddenly got so busy. When she only had two, we were able to do park playdates and walks all of the time. I knew she wasn't mad at me or anything; however, I wondered why our once-active social time with one another had cooled. After all, adding one kid wasn't such a big deal, right?

WRONG!

Man, I completely understand her now.

If it takes a village to raise a child, I am my own city structure for my kids. On any day, I am a mom, a doctor, the mayor, sheriff, scheduler, maintenance director, garbage collector, and city planner. Since I do not have family close by, and my husband travels a lot, I am often solely responsible for these three little lives 24/7, with little or no breaks inbetween. I am the chauffer, carting the kids to ballet and the park, and their guardian angel who protects them from everything I possibly can.

Gosh, it's a busy life. I would not trade it for ANYTHING; but man, how things have changed!

I remember the overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt the moment Grace was placed in my arms. As she cried her first cry, I vowed to do everything I could to make sure that her laughs outnumbered her cries. I started to sing her "A, B, C, D...", and she stopped crying. I knew, from that moment on, the power and ability that I, as her mommy had...and that feeling was completely intoxicating.

When I brought her home from the hospital, I realized that my life would never be the same. No longer did life revolve around what Brent and I wanted to do...it was now ALL.ABOUT.HER! Every whimper, every laugh, and every moment of our day was now taken up with molding this little baby into a smart and responsible human being.

Fast forward 15 months, and I had Dani in my arms. Twenty-two months after that, Will. Same feelings for all, just multiplied.

My heart is overflowing...and so is our schedule.

For my dear friends, I apologize for not "being there" for you as much as I used to. Most days, between feeding, burping, and changing the baby, and making sure that the girls are both taken care of and growing intellectually, I have barely enough time to think straight. I try to squeeze some "me time" in there every day; however, most days even that makes me feel somewhat guilty, so while I do take advantage of it, I try to compensate with the kids later.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I have a HUSBAND, too? Yeah, so, when the kids go to bed, I am all about him. He has become my sole source for adult conversations on most days; and for that, I'm thankful.

In other words, and after a lengthy post, I would like everyone to know that, if I seem like I haven't been as active as I once was, I'm sorry. I am active, but just in a different way. I have my little city that I'm trying to keep up on the top of its little hill. Someday, I will be able to breathe again (and maybe be able to hold more than a three-minute long converstation!); but for now, this is my life.

And I love it.

New Truck!

Well, it's an SUV- a 2008 Ford Expedition. It's official- we outgrew the minivan with the three kids, their gear, and our lifestyle.

Week 1- Progress!

Okay, so....today is the end of week one of my post-baby body. Will is two months old TODAY! Activity-wise, I did Stroller Strides two days, Women Who Run club one day (ran approx. 3 miles), and Mama Wants on four of the days this week. I had two "off-days" where I didn't do anything (well, except chase kids).

Weight as of 4/12/10: 155 (three pounds! Woot woot!)
B: 38
W: 31
H: 39

The things we say as moms!

This will (obviously) be an evolving post section!

The things we tell our children in the course of a day are quite funny if you look at them from an outside perspective.

Take this morning, for example. Grace and Dani were playing, and I was drinking my coffee. It's quiet; and when I look over, Gracie was abusing Dani's babydoll.

"Gracie! Does Mommy chew on Will's head?! Don't do that to Dani's babydoll!"

Or...

"Dani! Don't touch your POOP! Hands OUT of your DIAPER!"

LOL!