Confessions from a mom of three

Dialogue from a phone conversation I had today at about 3 p.m.:

Friend: "I want to do something today, (my son) does, too; but (my daughter) is not into it."
Me: "No worries. Grace is still up, Dani is still sleeping, and Will is good...we can do something another day, too."
Friend: "Yeah, maybe..."(I look over at Will, who is in his bounce chair on the floor)
"WHOOPS! Will is puking. Gotta go!"

Such is life.

You know, I remember how, after another good friend of mine had her third, I wondered why she suddenly got so busy. When she only had two, we were able to do park playdates and walks all of the time. I knew she wasn't mad at me or anything; however, I wondered why our once-active social time with one another had cooled. After all, adding one kid wasn't such a big deal, right?

WRONG!

Man, I completely understand her now.

If it takes a village to raise a child, I am my own city structure for my kids. On any day, I am a mom, a doctor, the mayor, sheriff, scheduler, maintenance director, garbage collector, and city planner. Since I do not have family close by, and my husband travels a lot, I am often solely responsible for these three little lives 24/7, with little or no breaks inbetween. I am the chauffer, carting the kids to ballet and the park, and their guardian angel who protects them from everything I possibly can.

Gosh, it's a busy life. I would not trade it for ANYTHING; but man, how things have changed!

I remember the overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt the moment Grace was placed in my arms. As she cried her first cry, I vowed to do everything I could to make sure that her laughs outnumbered her cries. I started to sing her "A, B, C, D...", and she stopped crying. I knew, from that moment on, the power and ability that I, as her mommy had...and that feeling was completely intoxicating.

When I brought her home from the hospital, I realized that my life would never be the same. No longer did life revolve around what Brent and I wanted to do...it was now ALL.ABOUT.HER! Every whimper, every laugh, and every moment of our day was now taken up with molding this little baby into a smart and responsible human being.

Fast forward 15 months, and I had Dani in my arms. Twenty-two months after that, Will. Same feelings for all, just multiplied.

My heart is overflowing...and so is our schedule.

For my dear friends, I apologize for not "being there" for you as much as I used to. Most days, between feeding, burping, and changing the baby, and making sure that the girls are both taken care of and growing intellectually, I have barely enough time to think straight. I try to squeeze some "me time" in there every day; however, most days even that makes me feel somewhat guilty, so while I do take advantage of it, I try to compensate with the kids later.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I have a HUSBAND, too? Yeah, so, when the kids go to bed, I am all about him. He has become my sole source for adult conversations on most days; and for that, I'm thankful.

In other words, and after a lengthy post, I would like everyone to know that, if I seem like I haven't been as active as I once was, I'm sorry. I am active, but just in a different way. I have my little city that I'm trying to keep up on the top of its little hill. Someday, I will be able to breathe again (and maybe be able to hold more than a three-minute long converstation!); but for now, this is my life.

And I love it.