Missing Him

This weekend was a tough one for me. I was not only dealing with a three-day self-imposed lockdown due to Grace's low-grade fever, but I was struggling with the reality of something that really hit home as I juggled three fussy kids by myself: I MISS MY HUSBAND!!

My husband has been gone for a little less than three weeks now. Now, I'm used to him being gone often with his job; however, this time, it's longer. Much longer. I thought that the kids would be able to handle it due to his contstant travel, but this weekend brought up the inevitable truth: we all miss him. Badly.

My husband is the light of my life. From the moment I met him since I was 16, he was the man I compared everyone I ever dated from that point forward to. Through good times and bad, he's the one who has pushed me to be a better person, woman, worker, wife and mother. When we decided to get back together in August of 2004, it wasn't long before he proposed: he asked me to marry him on Thanksgiving Eve of that same year. To those on the outside, that may have seemed super fast; but to us, it was natural. At that point, we had known each other for almost ten years, and we had come to the firm conclusion that it was time for us to start our lives. Together.

Fourteen months after Brent's proposal, we were married. Three months after we married, we found out that we were pregnant with our first baby. This was particularly surprising because I had been told by more than one doctor that, due to my endometriosis, I may never be able to have children. Three kids later, we have proven those doctors WRONG! haha.

When he's gone, all of us feel it. The tantrums seem more intense, the feelings more raw. Fevers seems to last longer, and the weekends are incredibly lonely as everyone else seems to relish in their family time as complete units. The baby seems to cling to me, as if he knows that he's missing the cuddle time with his daddy, and the girls seem to cuddle a bit harder, too. I know that Gracie and Dani truly miss their "special time" with their daddy...the garden in our backyard just isn't as green, and the strawberries aren't as sweet without his TLC (I'm totally taking care of it, but I just don't have the same touch as he does).

I'm trying not to think about the negatives, but sometimes it's hard. I miss seeing him come through the backdoor every night. I miss feeling him next to me at night. I even miss his critques of my cooking...after all, Grace and Dani's palettes aren't as, um, developed as his! I just miss HIM.

Counting down the days....